A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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