he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
