i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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