how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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