I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
