i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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