i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's blow job season.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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