The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
