i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
