I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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