i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
