Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
