So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
