She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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