we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
