nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
