Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
