she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
