Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
