god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
