Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize