john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
