There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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