just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
