what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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