so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
