This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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