i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
