A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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