took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
pop tarts are not kleenex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
