Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
