somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
