In the future we'll all be gay
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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