There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
