The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
