After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
