420 ftw
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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