she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
