guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just cut my nipple shaving
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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