Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This house was built for laser tag.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
ttyl tear gas
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk is not a location!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
