So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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