i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize