Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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