I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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