I just saw a hot homeless man
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
