and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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