I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
