Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
