for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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