Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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