rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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