question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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