Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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