yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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