Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
