I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
