the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't notice because vodka
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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